Empathy

An Imperative Leader Attribute

By Mounir Bouchareb, Janetta Harris, Bernard F. Harris, PhD

Article published on: August 1st, 2025 in the Army Civilian Professional Journal August 2025, Vol. 1, No. 2 Edition

Read Time: < 23 mins

(Graphic word cloud by Allyson McNitt)

Empathy is essential to recognizing how someone else feels, even when two individuals may appear separated, disjointed, or combative toward each other. “Empathy allows the leader to anticipate what others are experiencing and feeling and gives insight into how decisions or actions affect them.” ¹ A strong propensity for empathy allows leaders and subordinates to comprehend people’s complexities more profoundly. What is more, empathy not only enhances cultural understanding, but it also enables an Army leader to better interact with others, even if vast differences in background and upbringing exist. Empathetic deployment of interpersonal skills is not just a leadership attribute but a life skill crucial to building trust, nurturing relationships, and leading teams. Albert Einstein once said, “Empathy is patiently and sincerely seeing the world through the other person’s eyes. It is not learned in school; it is cultivated over a lifetime.” ² This patient and sincere understanding is what builds trust and nurtures relationships.

It is a culmination of life skills that affect how individuals interpret and respond to life events. Aside from patience and sincerity, many other characteristics complement empathetic, professional conduct. Some of these traits include active listening, self-awareness, open-mindedness, and a level of vulnerability. ³ Vulnerability, though controversial, is a crucial aspect of empathy. Leaders must be willing to understand the feelings of others without taking on their problems. ⁴ While this may feel somewhat cumbersome and daunting at first, leaders learn through experience, maturity, and trial-and-error.

Empathy does not only apply to a leader-to-subordinate relationship; it can also apply to peer-to-peer relationships among military and civilian personnel. In addition, many experts vigorously debate the meaning and scope of empathy in the social, psychological, and neurological sciences. Therefore, this article is not a comprehensive look at empathy but a way for U.S. Army leaders to approach empathy using both doctrine and academic research.

A Short History of Empathy

Philosophers like David Hume and Adam Smith associated sympathy with moral and aesthetic concepts in the eighteenth century. However, in the nineteenth century, psychologists equated sympathy with interpersonal value. Empathy was first presented to the American public in the early twentieth century as more important than sympathy. Allowing a person to not only “feel bad for someone else’s misery,” as emphasized in sympathy, but empathy “enabled a comprehensive grasp of another’s experience.” ⁵ To delve deeper into the early twentieth-century American interpretation of empathy, one must recognize that Germany, not the United States, was the leader in psychology. Therefore, American psychologists attended German schools and universities to learn the latest psychological concepts. In this environment, it is not surprising that American psychologists in 1908 first developed the word empathy as the best translation of the German word einfuhlung, meaning in-feeling. ⁶ The following year, 1909, the word empathy appeared in U.S. psychological textbooks. However, a translated word can easily be assigned different meanings, allowing the following generations of researchers to mold the term’s meaning to achieve their research goals. ⁷

Figure 1. Modified LRM with Empathy Highlighted (Figure from ADP 6-22, figure 1-3, the Army Leadership Requirements Model)

In U.S. Army doctrine, the term empathy can be traced back to FM 22-100 published in 1973, which stated, “Leadership that is based primarily on position and authority and is lacking empathy will, in the long run, prove ineffective.” ⁸ What is more, empathy has been part of the Army’s leadership requirements model (LRM) since its inception into U.S. Army doctrine in 2006. ⁹ A historical example of exercising empathy in combat is the 1968 My Lai massacre. In this tragic event, 2Lt William Calley demonstrated authority without empathy when he allowed his troops to attack unarmed civilian villagers. In this same event, Warrant Officer Hugh Thompson demonstrated authority with empathy when he landed his helicopter between the My Lai villagers and Calley’s troops to stop the atrocities. ¹⁰ This article focuses on the American interpretation of empathy in U.S. Army doctrine in the twenty-first century and its ramifications for leadership and the Army profession.

Leadership Requirements Model (LRM)

Empathy is not a standalone concept but a nested leadership attribute in the Army’s LRM in Army Doctrine Publication (ADP) 6-22; see figure 1. ¹¹ Looking at this attribute from the BE-KNOW-DO framework, empathy is included under the attribute category of character. Doctrine describes character as “a person’s true nature comprised of their morals, virtues, values, conscious and sense of purpose.” ¹² Character includes empathy along with the Army values, warrior ethos, discipline, and humility. These attributes reinforce and complement each other, which enable a leader to have a strong, moral character. It is important to note all the attributes and competencies work together and create a level of synergy for leader effectiveness. For example, the Army expects its leaders to display interpersonal tact and mental agility, to lead by example, and to be role models. As the attributes and competencies are not isolated entities, empathy strengthens tact, agility, and role modeling. A second illustration is for the leader competency category, achieves. Leaders with a capacity for empathy are ultimately results-oriented because they seek to understand, anticipate, prioritize, integrate, and adapt while providing care for soldiers.

As part of the LRM, empathy is about relating to another’s situation, motives, or feelings with understanding. ¹³ Field Manual (FM) 6-22 further describes empathy as “the ability to share and understand someone else’s feelings.” ¹⁴ Leaders with empathy value a balance between mission requirements and the welfare of their soldiers. This in turn leads to better decision-making and improves morale, climate, and overall readiness.

Part One: What Empathy Is and Is Not

While sympathy, compassion, and empathy are related terms, their application has significant differences; it is not a matter of simple semantics. Many theorists and philosophers often think of empathy as putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, but it goes beyond just an emotional awareness. ¹⁵ It is “an emotional shift from thinking to feeling, wherein we experience a deepening of understanding and awareness.” ¹⁶ Furthermore, many social scientists posit empathy is a recognition of our collective humanity, but this leadership attribute requires both affective (emotional) and cognitive (thinking) engagement of faculties. ¹⁷ The person must first acknowledge the feelings, followed by a desire to understand.

One definition of empathy from academia is “the ability to be aware of, understand, and appreciate the feelings and thoughts of others.” ¹⁸ When leaders empathize, they display the ability to comprehend another person’s actions and emotions, identify with the thoughts and emotional states within others, exhibit the capacity to understand a person’s emotional reaction, and showcase an awareness of another’s problems. ¹⁹ As a result, the subordinate or peer feels understood, seen, valued, and heard without judgment or stipulation. During this process, people choose to be receptive to someone else’s experience, even though the situation may be uncomfortable. Empathy is a continuum of understanding and should not deter one’s willingness to engage with others. ²⁰ The key is to become accustomed to this discomfort as you endeavor to understand why someone else’s reasoning, behaviors, or experiences differ from yours.

Leaders must acknowledge empathy is not about them or their needs. Empathy is focused on the other person and requires the attention and presence of both parties. One misconception of empathy is about commiserating, relating, and storytelling. While relating and storytelling have intrinsic value, empathy transcends building rapport and establishing commonalities. ²¹ Empathy is not sympathy or compassion. According to Merriam-Webster, sympathy is “a feeling of sincere concern for someone who is experiencing

Figure 2. Summary of What Empathy Is Not (Image courtesy of authors)

something difficult or painful,” while compassion is “a sympathetic consciousness of other’s distress together with a desire to alleviate it.” ²² Empathy is not advice; otherwise, it becomes about the person giving it, not the individual in question. ²³ Empathy is not about judging the other, trying to form an opinion about them, or assessing their character, but rather maintaining a nonjudgmental, present- moment awareness. ²⁴

Empathy is not limited to hardship but can involve many emotions such as excitement, joy, fear, shame, or guilt—“the feeling states of others.” ²⁵ After all, humans are highly complex and can often feel conflicted. As emotions are part of the human experience, leaders must know how to work through feelings and gain a deeper understanding. ²⁶ Lastly, empathy is not agreement. When displaying empathy, leaders can understand another person’s motives or predicament—that does not mean they agree with or approve of what transpired. This misperception (i.e., empathy is agreement) reinforces other myths such as empathy is just being nice, or empathy is not holding people accountable for their actions. ²⁷ Quite the opposite, empathetic leaders can be resolute in their decisions and actions, and they can enforce good order and discipline. See figure 2.

Part Two: Empathy and Communication

Empathetic communication requires active listening skills, attention to body language, and verbal support. It can lead to conflict resolution and more effective communication, which provides more accurate insight into what an individual is trying to convey. What does it look like? Simply put, leaders listen, observe body language, and reciprocate through words—all of which can translate into conflict resolution at any level.

Empathetic Listening

First and foremost, listening creates a gateway to another’s thoughts and feelings. ²⁸ Attentive listening requires a shift in perspective. “It is about sitting in the uncomfortableness … reserving judgment, challenging your own biases or filters, while remaining curious to understand the complexity of their situation fully.” ²⁹ The goal is to be present physically and emotionally. Leaders try to ascertain what influences their subordinates and teammates—their hopes, fears, concerns, and goals. Empathy is the force multiplier that allows that path to unfold. A powerful way to empathize is by being patient and quiet. The silence or tactical pause gives the individual the space necessary to express what is on their mind and the courage to proceed.

Body Language

While people express information through verbal and nonverbal cues, experts agree most human communication is nonverbal. ³⁰ Even though information is expressed verbally, body language and non-verbal cues can significantly enhance, relay, or perhaps even distort additional information. Body language allows one to understand what a person is saying entirely and helps the observers interpret how they pay attention and react to stimuli. Overall, body language amplifies the verbal message, and “nonverbal and verbal channels often have to be considered together to understand conveyed meanings.” ³¹

Figure 3. Body Language–Recognizing Indirect Communication (Image courtesy of authors)

Facial expressions, eye contact, voice vitality, and posture are essential in communicating non-verbal cues. These critical aspects of communication provide insight into someone’s emotions, ideas, state of mind, and even intentions. Changes in a person’s vocal tone, rate of speech, speaking style, pitch, and volume can alter the message’s meaning and reception (or possible rejection). Posture can convey engagement or interest, while gestures are ways for people to embellish a conversation and emphasize specific points. Reading body language is a critical skill to build on empathy, as being attuned to body language is one way to demonstrate attention. ³² As observers receive input, they will correspondingly reflect or mirror that body language. ³³ Understanding nonverbal communication (e.g., how humans listen, look, move, and react) demonstrates the person is present in the moment. Ultimately, trust and rapport can develop when nonverbal cues match the words expressed. See figure 3. ³⁴

Figure 4. Communicating with Empathy–Verbalized Support (Figure adapted from ADP 6-22, Tables 5-3 and 5-5)

Verbalized Support

Empathy is not only about understanding the emotional state of others, but more importantly, it is about communicating this understanding to them. Communicating understanding can create feelings of acceptance and lead to buy-in of ideas. Leaders communicate clarification through verbalized support as they seek to understand someone else’s reality by asking open questions, paraphrasing what they hear, acknowledging the other, and validating the other’s experiences. ³⁵ An empathetic response aims to recognize another’s perspective, fully grasp their emotional state, and convey that understanding verbally. The goal is to help them open up even more now that they see they are heard. “Open questions, affirmations, reflections, and summaries (OARS) form the basis for a disciplined listening and speaking style—the building blocks of productive conversations.” ³⁶ Ultimately, all leaders want productive conversations reinforcing consistent command messaging. See figure 4. ³⁷

Conflict Resolution

Empathy also plays a crucial part in resolving conflict and communicating compromise. For example, managing a difficult conversation involves discovering oneself and others. Leaders strive to instill effective change, be less reactive, and find balance in disparate views. Complete harmony may not be possible because leaders know they lack the whole picture or all the answers. Instead, leaders should focus on how teams can work better together, avoid rushing to failure, and separate the person from the problem. Lt. Gen. Milford Beagle, commanding general of the Combined Arms Center at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas, said, “It takes a Team effort to remain relevant. It will take transparency, understanding, and empathy by all to make progress.” ³⁸ These strategies result in more productive outcomes and an increased shared understanding across the ranks.

Empathy is crucial in resolving conflict and can assist any communicative process—regular conversations, negotiations, mediations, or arbitrations. An empathetic leader can more easily diffuse conflicts within a unit by knowing the different perspectives and needs; empathy allows room for compromises to surface. While specific results will vary depending upon the unique circumstances, leaders strive for effective communication, collaboration, a resolution ending in task completion, crisis aversion, and an engaged, intact team. ³⁹ A significant part of resolving conflict is finding a compromise everyone can live with—especially when individuals express hurt, refuse to work together or listen, give up, walk away, or any amalgam of such counterproductive behaviors. While empathy is not the solution by itself, it allows understanding and conversations to occur, paving the way for reconciliation. All teams will experience challenges; empathy allows teammates to find answers, make concessions, and remain focused on an organizational mission (i.e., the greater good versus selfish demands).

Part Three: Empathy and Leader Effectiveness

Empathy has a vital role to play in the U.S. Army and the military at large. Empathy can connect people, and connection facilitates cohesion and leader effectiveness. Research has shown a solid social support network leads to better, healthier relationships. ⁴⁰ An empathetic leader can help strengthen those bonds with subordinates by understanding others and making them feel heard and understood. Empathy can help spark creativity, improve problem-solving skills, and expand one’s imagination—all of which translates to better decision-making on and off the battlefield.

Empathy also triggers the “mechanism that motivates the desire to help others, even at a cost to oneself.” ⁴¹ In the U.S. Army, selfless service is one of the Army values. “Selfless service means doing what is right for the Nation, the Army, the organization, and subordinates ... the needs of the Army and the Nation should come first.” ⁴² Instead of insisting on myopic requests, individuals choose a vocation of higher calling and purpose through military service. Through service to the Nation, members of the Army profession can exhibit empathy in their stewardship, learning and leader development, sustainment of a positive climate, and prevention of harmful behaviors.

Stewarding the Profession

The paramount responsibility of a leader is caring for soldiers, including leader development, climate, and prevention. Taking care of subordinates is a solemn duty, not just a check for maintaining long-term operational effectiveness. The Nation entrusts Army leaders with its most precious commodity, its soldiers, while leaders welcome this obligation by demonstrating the necessary care and competence. ⁴³ Soldier care includes preparing for future challenges and adversity, standing up for them, and monitoring morale. Leaders connect personally with their subordinates to understand individual needs and communicate a level of concern. Acknowledging subordinates and their needs may involve providing personal time away from the unit; addressing pay, health, welfare, and family issues; and interpreting their goals and helping them reach them. As discussed earlier, empathy is a trigger for compassion and care. So, empathy may not be compassion, but it starts the process of developing compassion.

Learning How to Further Develop Empathy

Empathy is a crucial factor for leader development, which can be cultivated and integrated to reinforce learning throughout a person’s career. Leaders can incorporate empathy into an organization’s daily professional and personal activities in many ways. One approach is cultivating curiosity and encouraging lifelong learning. The U.S. Army emphasizes lifelong learning for all its members, civilian and military alike. Learning involves the acquisition of new or the modification of “existing knowledge, behaviors, skills, values, or preferences.” ⁴⁴ Learning does not occur in a void; empathy and experience together can lead to changes in behavior or attitude. When leaders step out of their comfort zone, enduring discomfort can be a part of their self-development. Two examples are attending community international events and volunteering with different charity groups. ⁴⁵

A second approach is storytelling. An example is the Oxford Muse Portrait Database, a gallery of written portraits of people from various backgrounds. In the various stories, individuals discuss their lives—successes, failures, happiness, losses, and many more poignant themes. ⁴⁶ In sharing stories, individuals discover they share many common struggles, and recognizing commonalities helps remove cultural barriers. Storytelling is an innately human endeavor, as anthropologists have traced cave paintings and other art forms dating back more than 30,000 years. ⁴⁷ Moreover, neuroscience supports the idea human brains are wired to listen, tell, and share stories. ⁴⁸

A third approach is receiving feedback. While feedback is information garnered from multiple sources, its primary purpose is to improve performance or elicit a response. ⁴⁹ Receiving feedback is an effective way for leaders to reflect upon decisions made or actions taken and consider alternative solutions to the same problem. Humility is another leadership attribute, and it plays a large part in receiving and providing feedback. ⁵⁰ Reception and reflection of feedback require a leader to be humble, which goes in tandem with empathy.

Finally, a leader should find the time to practice the skill of empathy by being approachable and creating opportunities for discourse. If leaders are unapproachable, their subordinates will not feel comfortable presenting ideas or identifying potential problems. Both ideas and problems can affect the future performance of any unit. Being approachable is the foundation for having candid discourse that promotes creative ideas and resolves challenges. ⁵¹ The “capacity for empathy is key to successful leadership.” ⁵² So, while debatable, empathy may be the quality that separates good from great.

Empathy and Climate

One aspect of a positive climate is when leaders foster a learning environment. FM 6-22 describes a learning environment where people feel safe to speak up, present divergent ideas, ask for help, and admit mistakes. ⁵³ Peter Senge first described this concept of a learning organization in 1990; since then, other theorists in business, management, and education have added to the discourse on learning and transformation. ⁵⁴ Notably, transformation is not possible without empathy as a foundation, and transformation is what distinguishes high-performing teams. Developing empathetic leaders who understand the needs of others takes dedication that goes beyond the daily routines and responsibilities of otherwise engaged units. Leading by example is an effective method of imparting empathy to the troops. Leaders can demonstrate empathy by showing sincere interest, demonstrating reasonable concern, providing support, and taking the appropriate level of risk. ⁵⁵ Leaders can use leader development sessions to practice OARS and hone listening and observation skills. ⁵⁶ A leader who creates an environment ripe for empathy will allow future leaders to flourish and have a positive effect on climate. See figure 5. ⁵⁷

Empathy and Prevention

Doctrine and academic research have shown empathy is a powerful protective force; empathy upholds all prevention efforts. Within the U.S. Army, the aim of prevention is to put an end to harmful behaviors such as sexual harassment, sexual assault, suicide, and counterproductive leadership. Empathy facilitates the development of social-emotional learning skills to include “self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making.” ⁵⁸ First, self-awareness is critical for understanding and evaluating one’s capabilities, knowledge, and skills to improve performance—all the while acknowledging the perceptions of others. ⁵⁹ Second, self-management is about regulating decisions, actions, and behaviors, which allows leaders to be resilient and adaptable to overcome challenges. In contrast, social awareness gives the opportunity to look outward to gain a better understanding of people in close spheres of influence. Relationship skills embody all the leader attributes and competencies that reflect an effective leader—humility, empathy, confidence, mental agility, interpersonal tact, building trust, and developing others, to name a few. In addition, leaders are results-driven and want to make the most effective, efficient decisions possible. Together, these social-emotional learning skills give leaders the tools necessary to understand themselves and others, address difficult questions, create buy-in, develop coping strategies, and build a ready and effective force. ⁶⁰ Empathy can act as a shield against harmful behaviors by creating a climate of trust where dignity and respect thrive. ⁶¹

Figure 5. Learning Environment (Figure adapted from FM 6-22, Table 4-61 )

Victim empathy is another protective force that gives leaders the ability to recognize trauma experienced by victims of violence. The empathetic process begins with a fundamental belief that humans have intrinsic worth and are therefore worthy of dignity, respect, and compassion. ⁶² As a follow-on, leaders can conceptualize what happened to the victim. This opens a window into the realm of empathy that can lead to compassion, which requires giving credence to the victim and necessitates active participation. ⁶³ Leaders must acknowledge the potential challenges a victim may experience and provide a pathway for support, reintegration, and healing. See figure 6. ⁶⁴

Empathy can trigger prosocial behavior (helping others) and allows the development of cohesive teams. Research reveals a correlation between empathy, connection, and cohesion. Additionally, research has shown empathy underpins empowerment, engagement, and initiative. ⁶⁵ A leader who helps improve subordinates’ lives impacts the individual and organizational levels.

Figure 6. Sexual Harassment and Sexual Assault Continuum of Harm (Figure from Graphic Training Aid 19-11-001)

Empathy is also essential for mental well-being and social connections. Studies have shown solid connections, like what one may observe in a close-knit unit, help decrease anxiety and depression that can adversely affect feelings of self-worth and lead to possible suicidal thoughts. ⁶⁶ Furthermore, research shows bystanders with higher empathy levels are more likely to assist victims. Empathy allows an individual to better interpret an event requiring intervention and take the appropriate steps when necessary. Last, but not least, empathy is a powerful protective measure in preventing suicide and isolation. Showing empathy and listening to others during difficult times conveys they are valued. Empathy can help sharpen one’s perceptions and responsiveness toward someone exhibiting at risk symptoms. “Empathy prevents isolation and creates a protective environment that can reduce suicidal ideations and behaviors.” ⁶⁷ Empathy plays a critical role in soldier care, morale, welfare, and safety.

Conclusion

Leader attributes such as empathy are crucial for building trust, nurturing relationships, and leading teams. Effective and empathetic leaders put others first, remain open to new perspectives, and lead by example. These leaders can identify with others’ challenges (i.e., feel united and share a spirit of collaboration through hardship). They reflect on their own and others’ decision-making processes, apply their judgment, and develop inner strength or resilience. They care about how members fit into the organization. They acknowledge how empathy can contribute to positive outcomes: innovation, engagement, retention, cohesion, work-life balance, cooperation, and overall health. ⁶⁸ All these investments improve the command climate.

Empathy takes discipline because it is not always a leader’s go-to response. It becomes easier to avoid empathizing when we foresee a behavior to be wrong, immoral, contrary to our beliefs, or too mentally tasking. Some may even believe empathizing with someone means an endorsement of their views. To counter these biases, a leader needs the necessary motivation and drive to empathize and a deep understanding of why it’s necessary. Empathy requires a balanced approach (addressing others’ needs yet not forsaking our own). As leaders learn to implement this attribute into their leadership behaviors, they learn to move back and forth between giving and receiving, thus maintaining holistic health and sustaining the Army profession. This article gives a way to approach empathy as described in U.S. Army doctrine and provides a path forward for U.S. military and civilian personnel to further incorporate empathy into their own character as they progress in their careers.

Notes: